Before kids, you knew who you were. You had a sense of purpose, a career you worked hard for, hobbies that lit you up, and friends you saw regularly. Your time was your own.

Then motherhood arrived and everything changed.

Suddenly, you’re someone’s mum, someone’s partner, someone’s employee. You’re managing school emails, last-minute costume days, meal plans, and meetings. Your days blur into a stream of doing for everyone else.

And one day, you look in the mirror and wonder:

“Where did I go?”

You Are Not Alone

The loss of identity is something so many working mums go through, yet it’s rarely spoken about. We celebrate multitasking and ‘doing it all’, but at what cost?

We begin to shrink ourselves. Not intentionally, but gradually. We say yes when we want to say no. We put everyone else first. We silence our own needs because it feels selfish to prioritise ourselves.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Identity Loss

• You no longer do things that used to bring you joy
• You feel like you’re just going through the motions
• You struggle to answer, “What do you want?”
• You feel disconnected from your body, emotions, or sense of self
• You crave space, silence, or something that’s just for you but feel guilty asking for it

Reclaiming Yourself Starts with Small Steps

You don’t need a drastic life change to rediscover who you are. It starts with quiet reflection and tiny acts of self-honouring.

Here are a few powerful starting points:

1. Ask Yourself: Who am I becoming?

Instead of focusing on who you were before, explore who you’re growing into. What values matter to you now? What makes you feel alive?

2. Schedule ‘Me Time’ Like It’s a Meeting

Whether it’s 15 minutes to read, walk, or just breathe, put it in your calendar and treat it as non-negotiable.

3. Reconnect with Passions

What did you used to love doing before life got busy? Can you pick one hobby and reintroduce it in a small way?

4. Get Support

You don’t have to do it alone. Talking to someone who gets it, as a coach, a mentor, or even a friend can be a powerful first step in reclaiming your identity.

Motherhood is part of your identity, not the whole story. You’re allowed to evolve. You’re allowed to have dreams. You’re allowed to take up space.

If you’re feeling lost, I want you to know this:

You’re still in there. And together, we can bring you back.