You’re in a meeting, trying to focus but your mind is ticking through tonight’s dinner, the class WhatsApp messages, and the birthday gift you still haven’t bought.
Sound familiar? Welcome to the mental load, the never-ending to-do list that lives in your mind and follows you everywhere. For many working mums, it’s a silent source of stress that leads to overwhelm, burnout, and even resentment. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Let’s talk about what the mental load really is, how it impacts your wellbeing, and what you can do to lighten the load without dropping the ball.
What is the Mental Load?
The mental load isn’t just about doing tasks, it’s about remembering, anticipating, planning, and organising everything for everyone. It’s:
- Knowing when the school homework or projects are due (and buying the glitter).
- Keeping track of appointments, family calendars, and household needs
- Being the default problem-solver for everything, all the time.
It’s invisible labour and it can feel like you’re carrying the weight of your entire family’s lives in your head.
Why It’s a Problem for Working Mums
When your brain is in constant overdrive, it’s hard to feel present at work or at home. The mental load drains your energy, reduces focus, disrupts sleep, and affects your mood. The worst part? You often carry it silently, believing it’s just part of being a “good mum.”
Practical Tips to Lighten the Mental Load
1. Get It Out of Your Head
Your brain is a processor, not a storage unit. Try a weekly brain dump — write everything down. Not just tasks, but also worries, reminders, and things floating in your mind. Tools to try:
- A simple notebook.
- A shared digital calendar with your partner.
- Journaling – to get your worries/thoughts onto paper.
2. Delegate with Intention
Sharing the load doesn’t mean micromanaging. Whether it’s with your partner, older children, or having outside help. Think shared ownership, not just “help.” Be clear and specific, and release the need to do everything “your way.”
3. Use Systems to Reduce Decision Fatigue
The more decisions you make, the heavier the load. Create routines to cut down on decisions.
- Weekly meal plan.
- Prep school bags and uniforms the night before.
- Life admin a set time each week.
How can Coaching Help?
You don’t have to navigate this alone. Working with a life coach can give you the space, structure, and support you need to finally lighten the mental load and find your balance again. Please book a discovery call.